ABIDE

ABIDE.... just saying the word settles in my mouth like so much creamy dark chocolate.

It makes my mind think of peace and it actually makes me FEEL peaceful. It isn't forced or phony, it's just...well...ABIDE.

It sounds so organic and natural. I guess I like that word...ABIDE.

The definition for ABIDE says, "continue without fading or being lost."

Once when my son was unusually peaceful, he was asked, "Whatcha doin' Andy?" He said, "Nothin'....just livin'.

He was ABIDING.

That's what I asked my soul recently and I had no answer. I had no idea what I was doing. I was not abiding, I was fading and becoming lost.

I am a gardener. I haven't gardened in many years, but still stop and breathe deeply when I smell freshly tilled soil or herbs wafting through the air. Once you are a gardener, you think differently, at least I did. The soil and the growth of vegetation become analogies from which to draw pictures of life. I guess because it is life.

As I wondered what it meant to ABIDE, naturally, I began to think of the earth and things that grew from it. Then I remembered in the scripture where it said that Jesus is the vine and we are the branches and if we ABIDE and make our home in Him, we will bear much fruit, but if we separate ourselves from Him, we will wither.

Of course, it made me think of my garden. As long as my plants were in one piece, they would flourish, but when a shoot or a branch would get broken off, try as I might, but I could not get it to take sustenance from the original stem.

As I was questioning what ABIDE really meant for me, I realized that as long as I derived my "nutrition" from the main vine - my life is supported. But when I try to take off on my own strength, which I am known to do, I will eventually starve.

ABIDE.

This quest all started when last week I began to get frantic about what I should do about a job now that I am here in San Diego.

I did not sleep all night and all I could think was, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

In the morning I cried "uncle" and asked God what I was missing. What did HE think I should do? The quiet word came back to me, "ABIDE."

I had NO idea what in the world that meant. As I began to think of coming here originally and not having a car, a job, or a permanent place to live. I started in my frantic mode and thought how can I get a car without a job and how can I get a job without a car and how can I get an apartment without a job and how can I get a job without an apartment....

The Lord reminded me that He provided a car. He took care of an apartment...and will take care of my sustenance.

So, for now, I sit at a cafe at the beach, drink my mocha, watch the waves and the surfers.... I will continue without fading or being lost...

...and ABIDE.