WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD?

There are a lot of blogs rattling around in my head, but I simply could not NOT write about this.

I knew that the judgments have been brewing against me and my divorce, but up until this letter I got from a "friend" - no one had admitted their thoughts...

This is a gentleman and his (former) wife who knew us and our family. I will not identify him and if he is reading my blog, I hope he will understand the impact a few words mixed with a lot of bitterness can have on one life...or many, depending on your position of influence and/or authority.

I'm just going to reprint the dialog, because my responses say it all, and if they seem harsh- they ARE, and this man needed to hear it! (Conversation is word for word except I took out all names).

Mr. Pharisee:
Where's your husband, "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, Until DEATH do us part!" I can identify with [your ex-husband] (not a perfect guy, as we NOW know), my wife left me and divorced me too, but not for a justifiable cause. Do you have a biblical, justifiable cause? Where's GOD?! Just sayin!






Me:
Not that I owe you any explanation OR that it is ANY of your business, but yes, I do have a biblical, justifiable cause...just sayin!





The next day:

Mr. Pharisee:
Thanks. Sorry, kinda went off last night. Life gets pretty painful at times and I let my "old fleshly man" act out. Please forgive me. Wishing you ALL the Best!


Me:


You didn't "kinda" go off - you were so far out of line, you weren't even in the same universe!



I am thankful that my relationship with the Lord is as strong as it is, because if it were not, your judgmental message would have devastated me. For those weaker in the faith, you could have been the catalyst to drive them over the edge of losing faith.



Fortunately, my faith does not depend on the opinions of the Pharisees, but on the work of the cross. That is no thanks to you, but Jesus.



That all being said, this message really threw me for a loop. I spent the evening crying because it was so surprising to me that anyone in the body of Christ would say that sort of thing. It was as if someone came up behind me and whacked me in the back of the head with a Bible. It is because of people like you that I do not attend church. I AM the church….the bride of Christ - and He does not like people talking to His bride that way.



[Mr. Pharisee], this is none of your business, just as your situation is none of my business…(and don't quote any scripture to me, I know and love the Word.) I know you apologized and I do accept, but that cannot erase the re-opened wound. I think it is ironic that your "ministry" is reconciliation, yet your life sermon is judgment.



Please reconsider your position of ministering from your bitterness. Get healed before you try to heal others with your caustic words.



That is all.


Mr. Pharisee:
Thank you SO much for responding. Actually my ministry isn't out of Judgement but grace. I have experienced so much grace and support since [my wife] left and then divorced me. I have NEVER said anything like that before to ANY one and I'm so SORRY that it caused you such pain. The past few weeks have been a challenge, totally unrelated to marriage, divorce or any of that. Once again I as your deepest forgiveness. I have no idea of the circumstances that led to you're separation and divorce and, as you say, it REALLY is NONE of my business. I've always loved and respected you and [former husband] and your family..... We all went through a difficult and challenging experience at the church with [former pastor] - who is still my friend, as is [former husband]. Have seen him at [former pastor's] place a couple of times when I was in [town] visiting [family]. 

I wish you the VERY BEST for the rest of your life. You're a beautiful, creative and gracious woman. Again, I'm very sorry for giving in to my fleshly weaker human nature last night. [My ex-wife] and I have a good, friendly relationship and there's never been animosity or hostility between us. Perhaps something surfaced last night that I was unaware of and I need to and WILL deal with it. Two of my good friends, [former pastor], [former husband] and also me are now divorced and trying to make our way in a world that is changing significantly and rapidly. God has been so Good and Gracious to me and I'm sure to you and us all.



In His Love & Grace,




 I have so many thoughts and yes, judgments on this that I have decided not to respond much further than what you see that I wrote.

One of the things that stood out to me in this AND when many well-meaning Bible-thumpers talk to me OR anyone wearing their stripe is all of the jargon that is thrown in out of habit or the desire to look spiritual. When you end it with "In His Love & Grace" - that doesn't erase everything. Don't give me that "old fleshly man" shite to mask the fact that you are human! Imagine that - a human - just like you were created to be!  GO FIGURE!

This scripture keeps coming up to me and, believe me, it is not just pointed at Mr. Pharisee, but straight at me as well.

Matthew 7:1-3

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

(I guess I am now experiencing the "ruler" I used to measure others, eh?)

 If you call yourself a Christian, believer, born again, or any of those identifying markers - then you had better watch yourself. You have the power to flick someone over the edge with your Jesus-flags you carry or the GIGANTIC Bible you use as a weapon.

***She is now stepping down off of her soapbox***